


What You Leave Behind

by Lazulia



Series: Mysterious Saga [3]
Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: M/M, Medical Emergency, Mentions of past mpreg, Miscarriage, Mpreg, hints of sexytimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazulia/pseuds/Lazulia
Summary: Mistoffelees is pregnant again and he and Tugger are thrilled to add more kittens to their family... but these things don't always work out the way one plans.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Buckle up, we're going on an angst-filled ride. While I dislike spoiling plot points, it's more important to let people know what to expect before they get invested, so I'll be clear: this fic will be sad, and contains a miscarriage and its emotional fallout. 
> 
> Looking back on this fic seven years later, I can see how I wrote it to deal with my anxiety concerning pregnancy and its related issues. I became pregnant with my son a month after posting the second chapter, so... I suppose it helped! But it might not be the case for everyone, so please stay safe and skip this one if you're not sure how the content will affect you. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading, kudos'ing, reviewing, and otherwise following this silly series of mine. You are amazing. And new fans who came here straight from the Cats trailer-- hello! I see you, and welcome!

"Misto! Misto!"

Mistoffelees barely had time to turn and smile before he was engulfed in a flash of snow-white limbs. Squeals and purrs rang in his ears before he managed to pry the excited Victoria's arms away from around his chest.

"I just heard!" she giggled, loosening her grip just enough for her to beam a smile. "Misto, I'm so happy!"

With a delicate cough, Mistoffelees gently pried Victoria's arms from around him. He knew he would have to get used to such enthusiasm again, but it would be nice if he could breathe. "You heard already? I just found out for certain two hours ago!"

"Well, I heard it from Etcetera who heard it from Cassandra who heard it—oh, it doesn't matter! Isn't it grand? We're going to be pregnant at the same time!"

That last part wasn't a surprise; clearly Mistoffelees wasn't the only Jellicle who'd made a litter of kittens at the Jellicle Ball a week ago. Victoria had learned of her own pregnancy less than two days ago, and surely there wasn't a cat in London who didn't know by now. Plato, for his part, had been wandering about in a stunned-but-happy daze since he'd heard.

"It seems so," Mistoffelees said. "It should be amusing-"

"Our litters may even have the same birthdays!" Victoria beamed. She was all but bouncing about in place; though she may not have been able to literally glow, like Mistoffelees could with his magic, there really could be no doubt that the young queen was pregnant.

"Misto, I can even come to you for advice! You'll have to tell me everything—have you felt any sickness yet? I think I have, but Plato thinks I was just getting too wound up. Oh! Have you had any cravings? Because ever since this morning, I've been hungry for the biggest bowl of tuna with some kind of… well, I'm not even sure what yet!"

"I can't say I've felt any cravings yet…"

"Oh! What about…" Victoria dropped her voice, though it was still uncommonly loud. She made a gesture towards her chest. "Have you been sensitive here? Because the other day, Plato was touching me and-"

Mistoffelees coughed. "Er, that's probably normal, but I don't think we should-"

"And that's not to speak about the birth, oh Everlasting. How badly does it hurt? Does your body stay stretched out after? Because you had seven and you still look great after-"

"Victoria!" Mistoffelees said, blushing. "Maybe you should be asking Jenny or Jelly or Jezebel about this?"

The white queen sighed. "But it's more fun to talk to a friend about this! And… well, you're the only friend of mine who's had kittens already!"

Mistoffelees couldn't help it; at Victoria's earnest pout, and the reality of her words, he laughed.

"It's not funny," Victoria said.

"Don't you think so?" the tux smiled. "You're asking a tom for advice about being pregnant. That's not funny?"

"Well, it… I suppose so. I don't think of it as being strange, it just is."

And that, Mistoffelees mused, was a comforting thought. He'd long feared being thought of as some manner of freak-of-nature cat for being able to conceive kittens even though he was a tom—yes, even though everyone knew his magic was responsible (and that was exactly what had attracted Macavity's attention nearly a year ago, he thought darkly) If the idea of him being pregnant was not cause for strangeness anymore, it was a bit of a relief.

"Look, Victoria—you'll be just fine. If I managed to figure this out, then I'm sure you will too. Just keep calm and enjoy your kittens."

"Yes, yes of course," Victoria nodded, and before Mistoffelees could speak, she had him locked into another tight embrace. Who knew the lithe queen had limbs of steel? "Thank you Misto! This will be fun, won't it? I wonder which one of us will get bigger!"

Mistoffelees shook his head and once again struggled to pry himself free. "I'm sure we'll find out. Now if you'll excuse me—I have to go tell Tugger. He's alone with the kits right now."

"Oh yes!" Victoria cried, releasing him and practically dancing where she stood. "Go tell him the news! And the kits! Won't they be just thrilled to have little siblings?"

"I certainly hope so," Mistoffelees said.

That was something he hadn't considered: how the kits would feel about sharing the den with new tiny kittens. They would probably need to add another extension to the den. And they were going to need more blankets, and plan for someone to keep the kits distracted for the day when he would give birth… Already there was so much to think about.

"I'll see you later, Victoria."

"Go tell Tugger!" Victoria squealed, and moments later she was bounding away. Mistoffelees pitied whichever cat was going to cross her path next. He or she was about to get an excited earful about kittens and pregnancy, whether they wanted to hear it or not.

Shaking his head, Mistoffelees trekked back towards his den, already feeling exhausted from being prodded and poked and smelled and hugged and congratulated.

He'd suspected all along that he and Tugger had succeeded in making a new litter at the Jellicle Ball; it explained why his fur had been glowing on occasion, why he'd begun feeling a little ill here and there (though thankfully, no hacking up yet) and why, admittedly, his chest had been feeling rather sore. It helped to have the matter confirmed.

Overall, he had to admit he was feeling a lot better than during the first pregnancy. It helped that he knew exactly what to expect, and that he knew—no matter what—that the birth was going to take place here, in the junkyard, safe and surrounded by friends, and not ten paces outside Macavity's lair. He placed a hand on his belly and smiled; nothing was going to come threaten these kittens.

When he padded back inside the den, he heard Tugger gently whispering to the kits and then popping out from behind the thick curtain they used to close off the entrance to the kits' room. He motioned for quiet as he settled the curtain into place.

"They're down for the afternoon nap," Tugger said. He gave Mistoffelees a wide grin. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Mistoffelees cheekily answered. "I told you I already knew I was pregnant! All Jenny did was confirm it for me."

Tugger looked like he wanted to high-kick in joy. He glanced behind him, to make sure the kits were settled and not about to get up and traipse about, and left the curtain to gather his mate into a tight embrace.

"I knew it too," Tugger purred, kissing him lightly. "I was sure you were."

"Hm, Tugger," Mistoffelees chuckled. For the second time today, he'd been caught in a crushing embrace, though this one was much more welcome. "Kittens need air."

"Oh! Sorry." Tugger released him, but kept a paw protectively draped over his back, even as Mistoffelees took a few weary steps over to their sleeping area.

He laid himself out on the blankets with a soft groan, stifling a yawn. "I forgot how exhausting it was to be pregnant."

Smiling uncontrollably, Tugger sprawled out at Mistoffelees' side and gently rubbed his flat belly. "Can you feel anything yet?"

"Of course not. I'm only one week along."

"I wonder how many there are. Do you feel like there might be seven in there?"

"Tug," Mistoffelees said. "I can't feel anything yet. I suppose I feel a bit bloated, but I don't think that's what you wanted to know."

"I care about everything you feel," Tugger said dramatically, swooping down to plant a quick kiss on his mate's lips.

"Mmm. Even when I feel like hacking up?"

"Even then." Leaning in for another kiss, he suddenly stopped short. "You… you don't feel like hacking up now, do you?"

"No."

"Good."

They kissed again. After a few moments of the tenderness, and after Tugger gently moved to partly cover Mistoffelees' body with his own, the kissing became a little less sweet and a little more aggressive. Before long, Mistoffelees curled one leg around Tugger's hips and began running his claws through the thick fur.

"I thought you were exhausted," Tugger said against his mate's lips, though he didn't make a move to stop the amorous exploration.

"I am," Mistoffelees said airily. "But I'll feel even worse once the new kittens are here, so we'd best take advantage while we can."

"You make it so hard to argue." Tugger ran one paw lovingly through Mistoffelees' head fur and dragged his lips lower, kissing neck and chest and nuzzling until he found a slightly swollen, sensitive nipple, giving it the gentlest of licks. That alone had Mistoffelees shuddering desperately.

"You look so beautiful," Tugger purred. "And you smell so good…"

"Da-ddy! Mandra's biting me!"

Mistoffelees groaned. Out of habit, Tugger rolled off him so no curious kittens could stumble onto what they were doing. He cocked his head to look at Tugger with tired, pleading eyes.

"Great," Tugger grumbled. "I suppose all the bedtime kit-wrangling is going to be up to me until the new litter comes."

"Poor Tugger," Mistoffelees said, yawning again, despite the arousal they'd started to build up. "Do I have to remind you who's going to be nursing the new kittens all day and all night after they're born?"

"Then there better not be another seven in there."

Tugger leaned down to give Mistoffelees one last kiss, before rising up to investigate a sudden whining shriek coming from the kits' room, which was soon followed by an indignant cry of "I'm telling!"

Mistoffelees rolled over on the blankets with a slight smile, draping a hand over his belly. By the time Tugger returned, he was fast asleep.

***

Three weeks into the pregnancy, they still hadn't told the kits about their upcoming siblings. Tugger insisted they should be told now, so they would have time to get used to the idea, while Mistoffelees preferred to take their time, while he thought of a gentle way to explain the whole process to them, debating whether or not they were too young for the "where do kittens come from" talk.

In any case, it wasn't as though they had had the time to calmly sit down and explain the situation to their seven kits; the little ones were getting to be not so little anymore, rambunctious and strong-willed and growing bigger with every passing day, though still prone to tantrums and misbehaviour.

Still prone, Tugger thought ruefully, to give him pounding headaches whenever they decided to be little monsters. They seemed to be in full form today, and it wasn't even suppertime yet. He'd been trying to sort through some blankets dropped off by Alonzo earlier that day, intended for the new kittens, but had barely made any headway into the task thanks to the rowdy kits.

Cyrano, Tourmaline and Mandragora were loudly tussling in their room; everything seemed all right, though Tugger kept an ear cocked in their direction in case a joyful scream turned into a pained one.

Josephine was still sobbing dramatically after being sent to the corner for biting one of her sisters, wailing a long monologue about lack of proper justice in this family. Her pitiful cries went unheeded by Cappella and Augusta, who were loudly playing at the other end of the den with a noisy toy one of them had found, one occasionally chasing the other when she caught the toy and refused to give it up.

In fact, the only quiet kitten at the moment was Aloysius, who was half-dozing on Mistoffelees' lap.

In contrast to the kittens, Mistoffelees had been rather quiet that day, leaning against a pillow and petting Aloysius with one hand, while his other hand rested on his belly. Though the pregnancy wasn't really showing yet, Tugger knew his mate's body well enough to notice the slight swell that was beginning to grow beneath the black-and-white fur.

Tugger suddenly huffed as a blur of black and gold crashed into his legs and scrambled to hide behind him, hissing. He sighed; Cappella, like the other kittens, was growing tall, but this kit in particular was also growing rather pudgy, and Tugger's slender legs afforded her little hiding area.

Augusta, pursuing her sister, skidded to a halt and stared up at her father with guilty eyes.

"Augusta, for the love of everything, if you don't leave your sister alone, I'm going to feed you to the Rumpus Cat!"

"She started it!" Augusta squealed.

"I don't care what—Cappella!" Tugger bellowed, as the kitten hiding behind his hip took a swipe at her sister. "If she's attacking you, then don't keep—Augusta!"

The two little queens continued to hiss and swipe at each other around Tugger's legs, while he struggled to keep them apart before someone got a claw in the eye.

In the cacophony of mews and spits, he almost missed Mistoffelees' soft voice. "… Tugger?"

"Hmm? What?" Tugger responded curtly. He finally settled for plucking up Augusta by her neck scruff, where she hung scrabbling valiantly but fruitlessly in the air. "What it is?"

He glanced at Mistoffelees; he was still leaning against the pillow, rubbing his belly and looking pale and tired. "Do you mind handling the kits on your own for a bit? I'm not feeling very well. I'm going to lie down."

It was all Tugger could do to resist huffing a frustrated sigh, especially as Augusta continued to kick and spit against his hold. He finally released her with a warning glare; to his relief, she toddled over to sit on a small pillow by herself, pouting as she picked up a knitted mouse to play with, her grudge with her sister long-forgotten.

"It's all right, go rest," Tugger said. His frustration turned to concern as Mistoffelees gently nudged Aloysius from his lap and rose to his feet, wavering slightly. "Are you all right?"

Mistoffelees nodded wordlessly, gingerly stepping through the door that separated their sleeping area from the rest of the den. Tugger half-expected to hear the sounds of hacking up, but there was nothing but silence. Hopefully all Mistoffelees needed was a nap.

A sudden shriek came from the kittens' sleeping area, though Tugger couldn't tell if it belonged to a tom or a queen. With a sigh, Tugger picked up the still-sleepy Aloysius, nudged Josephine out of her sobbing monologue, and made the others follow him into the sleeping area, briefly mourning his long-lost, carefree youth and days spent lounging in front of a fan club instead of controlling unruly kittens.

"All right kits," he said, slumping down on the mussed kitten blankets. "Your daddy needs to take a nap, so we're going to play a game. It's called 'Who can stay quiet the longest…'"

***

The game didn't last long, soon dissolving into a loud argument between Josephine and Mandragora over who truly was the quietest. Mercifully, after getting some supper into them, Tugger managed to get most of the kits quiet and settled down. Tourmaline, Cappella and Cyrano had fallen asleep in the main part of the den after much fussing, but Tugger wasn't ready to risk waking them to move them to their room.

Leaning his head back against the wall of the den, Cyrano snoring on his lap, Tugger closed his eyes and began to drift off.

"T… Tugger?" Mistoffelees weakly called, jarring Tugger from his near-doze. "Could you come here?"

Tugger sighed softly, forcing his eyes open. He was tired, and just wanted to enjoy some peace and quiet for a few moments. Still, he had to grant that Mistoffelees was probably having a bit of a difficult time; he remembered how ill his mate had gotten during the first pregnancy, and now he also had to keep caring for seven kits.

As he gently lifted the dozing Cyrano from his lap, Tugger shook his head with a rueful smile. Adding more kittens to their already-large family was going to be an interesting adventure. It had seemed like such a fun idea at the time; now, he worried it was going to cause more stress than they were ready for.

Cyrano gave a small start as Tugger's handling woke him up. He looked up at his father with large, sleepy eyes. "Daddy, no."

"Just a moment, kit," Tugger said, laying Cyrano down on a nearby blanket next to Cappella. She slept like a log and he knew Cyrano wouldn't wake her. "I've got to go take care of Misto for a bit."

"Is daddy sick?" Tourmaline squeaked. Tugger turned to see her sitting up, nervously clutching a corner of her yellow fleece blanket. "He's been acting funny."

"Just a little bit sick," Tugger soothed. He stroked Tourmaline's head as he rose up. "But I'm going to go make him better."

"Can I help?" the little queen asked.

"It's all right. Just stay there and be good, all right? You can help by being quiet and going to sleep."

Tourmaline nodded, while Cyrano sighed and flopped down on the blanket next to his sleeping sister.

Tugger made his way to their sleeping area, praying to the Everlasting Cat that he hadn't been called there because Mistoffelees had gotten sick on their bed, and pulled away the door that covered the entrance.

"Hey, Misto," he said softly.

No vomit, but the sight of the small tux made Tugger's ears flatten in worry. Mistoffelees was curled up tightly on his side, clutching a blanket around him as he shivered. At Tugger's approach, he looked up with wide, frightened eyes set in a pale face.

"Are you alone?" Mistoffelees whispered. He'd never sounded so weak and… terrified.

Tugger spared a quick glance to make sure none of the kittens had toddled behind him, and quickly closed the door. "Yeah, they're all going to sleep. Are you all right?"

Mistoffelees shook his head. "Some… something's really wrong."

His breath hitched audibly as he brought his white-furred paw out from under the blankets, holding it up for Tugger to see: the white fur was covered in blood.

"Everlasting!" Tugger cried, then lowered his voice before the kits heard. "What happened? Where's the blood coming from?"

"I-I think…" Mistoffelees began, swallowing hard. "I think it's the kittens."

"The kit-?" Realization struck like a punch in the gut. Tugger wasn't exactly sure what was happening, only that there was blood where there shouldn't be, and that it meant the kittens were in danger.

"I feel cold," Mistoffelees whispered.

Tugger hurriedly began to wrap Mistoffelees in the blanket. "Come on, you need to see Jenny right now."

"Tug, no!" Mistoffelees hoarsely said, clawing away the blanket. "We can't leave the kittens alone in the den. I… I don't want to upset them."

"Damn it! Misto, you need help, and-and…" Through his quaking, Tugger managed a breath. "All right, give me one minute. I promise I'll be back. All right? I'll be right back."

He got a shaky nod from Mistoffelees in reply and dashed out of their sleeping area. Tourmaline was still awake and sitting up, and as much as it twisted Tugger's heart to do so, he ignored her quiet pleas as he scrambled out of the den.

He desperately scanned the area, trying to find someone, anyone to—ah!

Not his first choice, but for an emergency, it would do. "Bombalurina!"

The red queen started at Tugger's urgent tone, rolling back a little guiltily from Pouncival. The two had probably been engaging in a little amorous 'discussion' partly hidden beneath the nearby junk pile, but at the moment, Tugger was too preoccupied to be amused about their activities.

"Bomba!" he called again. "Come here, now! I need you!"

Puzzled, Bombalurina got to her feet and hurried over, followed by a frowning Pouncival. The young tom was no doubt wondering what Tugger suddenly wanted with his mate. "Tug? What do you-"

Tugger quickly pulled her into the den, giving her no time to protest. "Just stay here, watch the kittens. And you," he said, pointing to Pouncival. "Go find Jenny, tell her I'm bringing Misto. It's an emergency."

Leaving the two bewildered Jellicles behind, Tugger dove back into their sleeping area. His heart twisted at the sight of Mistoffelees writhing on the blankets, on his back with one hand clutching his abdomen.

"Someone's with the kittens. I'm taking you to Jenny's."

"It really hurts," Mistoffelees whimpered.

"How does it hurt?" Tugger asked. He needed to keep talking to stay focused as he quickly wrapped the edges of the blanket around Mistoffelees so he wouldn't trip while carrying him.

Mistoffelees' hands shakily grasped Tugger's mane as he was lifted and carried out of their den past Bombalurina and the kittens, too quickly for them to see. To Tugger's mild relief, Pouncival was gone, hopefully off to prepare Jenny for their arrival.

"Like… cramps," Mistoffelees gasped.

"Not like birthing pains?" Fear made Tugger's fur stand on end; it was much, much too early for the kittens to come now.

"… I d-don't know. It does feel a lot like that." Tugger felt him shift around in his arms, tucking one arm into the blanket. He said, in a tiny voice, "I'm still bleeding."

"Everything will be all right," Tugger said. "I'm sure this is just… just one of those normal things about having kittens. Jenny will fix it, you'll see."

Mistoffelees moaned softly and laid his head against Tugger's shoulder, quiet as they continued to hurry across the junkyard.

Tugger was pleased that Pouncival had done as asked; when he closed in on Jenny's den, he spotted the old queen ready and waiting for him outside, Jezebel at her side.

"Inside, now," Jenny said tersely. "What's happening?"

"He's bleeding," Tugger supplied. "And… and he's in pain. He said it felt like birthing pains."

At hearing that, Jenny and Jezebel exchanged a look that did nothing for Tugger's nerves. It was Jezebel who spoke up, though she sounded weary. "All right, let's get him on the bed."

Tugger immediately obeyed. Mistoffelees seemed to be asleep or unconscious, breathing quickly, though he frowned and made a low, sad sound as he was placed on Jenny's bed and untangled from the blanket.

"Misto, darling?" Jenny said, laying a hand between his ears. "Are you still awake?"

"I feel dizzy…" the small tom murmured.

Jenny nodded to herself, nudging Mistoffelees' legs apart for a moment, then laying a gentle hand on his abdomen.

"Does it hurt? Right here?"

Mistoffelees grimaced, eyes closed, and nodded quickly. She pressed into his belly here and there as though feeling for something, apologizing softly when the prods drew pained hisses from Mistoffelees.

"All right, dear. Let's get you sorted out."

Tugger stood, uselessly clutching the bloodstained blanket and watching numbly as Jezebel rummaged about and brought a stack of clean cloths to the bed. It seemed to Tugger that they weren't in a frantic hurry to fix whatever was happening to Mistoffelees, but he decided that was a good sign. They weren't panicking. Maybe this was a normal pregnancy thing.

"Tugger," Jezebel said, grasping him by the arm and sternly leading him outside the sleeping area. "Let us work. We'll come get you when it's over."

"But—"

Jezebel urged him outside a little harder. "Mistoffelees is all right. Jenny and I will need some space to work. All right?"

"All… all right," Tugger said. He let the blanket fall into a useless heap on the ground, slumping down to sit next to it. He wanted to be in there, but Tugger had to admit that he was no expert on pregnancy, and maybe it would be better if he stayed out the two queens' way.

He still stared at the entrance to Jenny's bedroom, anxiously waiting for any news. If they said Mistoffelees would be all right, then he had to trust them.

Everlasting Cat, let them be right.


	2. Part 2

Tugger lost track of time. He wanted to sleep, and kept blinking the exhaustion from his eyes, but he wasn't about to drift off until he'd gotten news about Mistoffelees. It must have been way past time for bed by now; he hoped Bombalurina had managed to keep the kittens calm and sleeping. He only prayed the little things hadn't seen him carry a bleeding and writhing Mistoffelees out of the den.

He could hear swatches of conversation from inside Jenny's bedroom, soft and hushed, but he took comfort in the fact that there were no screams, no urgent cries from the two queens, no sounds of distress. Once or twice, he thought he heard Mistoffelees' voice, but he couldn't be certain. All he could do was sit, stare at the thick quilt covering the bedroom entrance, and wait.

Tugger's ears pricked up suddenly when the quilt was pushed aside, and a tired-looking Jezebel walked out. She gave him an unreadable stare, and Tugger gulped as he saw a small spot of blood on her leg fur. The scent was unmistakably Mistoffelees'.

"Well?" he asked.

To his surprise, Jezebel took a few steps closer to him and leaned down to nuzzle his head. Jezebel had never particularly been known for random acts of tenderness. The gesture alone worried him.

"Jenny will be out in a moment," she said. "I'm going to get some sleep, and you should too."

"… after I've seen Misto."

Jezebel nodded and left the den without another word. This time, when the quilt was pushed aside to reveal a weary Jenny, Tugger jumped to his feet.

"Jenny? How is he?"

The old queen was running a cloth between her paws, removing some faint remnants of blood from her fur. "He'll be all right, dear. I made him some tea and he's asleep and comfortable for now. Why don't you go home to your family and come back tomorrow?"

"I want to see him."

"He's asleep, Tugger. I don't want you disturbing him. There's nothing to see."

"Well, what happened?" Tugger said, anxiously shuffling in place. He didn't like being kept away from his pregnant mate, not at a time like this.

Jenny gave him a hard look. There wasn't a trace of joviality in her face and that was beginning to concern Tugger. "Why don't we discuss it tomorrow after everyone's rested?"

"No, tell me now! What happened? Why was he bleeding? Was he hurt? Did it have anything to do with the kittens?" It dawned on him suddenly that Jenny hadn't mentioned anything about the kittens, and it gave him a cold creeping feeling in his gut. "… the kittens, are they all right?"

Jenny gave a pained sigh. "Tugger…"

"Tell me they're all right."

Tossing the slightly bloodied cloth to the ground, Jenny took Tugger's arm and led him away from the bedroom, to the other side of the den, making him sit on a brightly-patterned cushion. She settled herself on a pillow right in front of him, still holding onto his arm.

"Tugger…" she began slowly. "First, you have to understand that this sort of thing happens sometimes, and it isn't anyone's fault. It just happens. Do you understand?"

"Sure," Tugger said. He didn't really understand, but he wanted to hasten Jenny along to her point. "What does this have to do with our kittens?"

"Well… sometimes, something just isn't going well with a very new litter, and nature takes care of things."

Tugger blinked, the cold feeling in his gut morphing into nausea. "What are you saying?"

"Mistoffelees lost the kittens."

"… lost?" His limbs felt heavy all of a sudden, and if he hadn't already been sitting, he probably would have collapsed. "You mean… they're…?"

"I'm so, so sorry, dear. It's called a miscarriage. Sometimes, it-"

"… they're dead?"

"I'm afraid so," Jenny said quietly. She reached for Tugger's hands, trying to get him to grasp back, but his hands were cold and numb.

"But…" Tugger gaped. "How? Why did it happen? Why didn't you stop it?"

Jenny sighed wearily. "Because there isn't anything we can do. Once a queen's—or in this case, a tom's—body starts to miscarry the kittens, you can't stop it. This isn't the first time I've seen this, you know."

"So… so his body decided to lose the kittens?" Tugger asked. He pulled hard at his mane, trying to make sense of all this. Just a few hours ago, Mistoffelees had been fine and happy and pregnant. "Did… did Misto do anything to make this happen, or…?"

"Oh, no!" Jenny cried. "Mistoffelees did nothing to cause this!"

"All right, but…" Tugger stammered. "Then something must have happened. Maybe he hurt himself? Tripped and fell? It could have happened while he was outside and I wasn't around. Could that be it?"

Jenny sighed again and rubbed her eyes. "Yes, I suppose a fall can trigger a miscarriage, but…"

"Was it Macavity? It could have been Macavity!"

"Dear, Macavity hasn't been seen in the junkyard since-"

"Maybe he did it from… from wherever he is! Used his magic, I don't know."

"Rum Tum Tugger, that's enough," Jenny said, gently but firmly. "You'll make yourself sick trying to find reasons for this. I know this is very terrible, and it's hard to accept…"

"But something must have caused it!" Tugger cried. "Something must have killed our kittens!"

"Tugger, I explained it to you: sometimes, there's something wrong with a litter. They don't grow properly, or they'd be very sick if they were born. This is just what happens. All right?"

"And… you're sure? Absolutely sure the kittens are gone?"

"Yes, dear. Trust me on this, I'm not mistaken. You know, Jellylorum suffered something like this a few years ago. She would be someone to talk to."

Tugger nodded dumbly. This still seemed impossible to wrap his head around. "Can I see Misto?"

"Not right now. It's all over, he's not in pain anymore. We cleaned him up and he's sleeping comfortably. Go get some sleep, go take care of your kittens, and come back to take care of Mistoffelees in the morning."

The old queen rose to her feet, and managed to pull the still-shaky Tugger to his feet as well. He wanted to argue—oh, did he ever want to argue—and stay, demand to see Mistoffelees, demand to spend the night by his side, but Jenny was right—his kits were still at home, being watched by an unprepared Bombalurina, and they were surely confused and upset by everything that was happening around them.

"Come back tomorrow," Jenny murmured. "I promise I'll be with him until he wakes up. We'll talk about all of this tomorrow, all right? It will get better."

With a shaky nod, Tugger stumbled out of Jenny's den, walking back to his own. He couldn't gauge how long he'd been gone. Hours? Everything still felt hazy.

He'd half-expected to hear crying kittens as he entered his den. To Tugger's small relief, everything seemed quiet. Bombalurina was sitting on the ground, a little awkwardly, with a snoozing Josephine sprawled over her stomach and Tourmaline curled up into a little ball close by, tightly clutching her yellow blanket. All the other kittens were quiet and asleep.

"Tug!" Bombalurina whispered. She made to get up, then reconsidered, not wishing to upset Josephine. "She woke up an hour ago and fell right asleep on me. Isn't that funny?"

Tugger nodded and slumped down to the ground next to the queen, numbly petting his daughter's head.

"Is everything all right?" Bombalurina asked. "Um, how's Misto?"

He didn't answer for a few minutes, quietly petting Josephine's fur as she daintily snored against Bombalurina. Before he realized it, tears began to roll down his cheeks, until he was openly sobbing against Bombalurina's shoulder.

***

Mistoffelees sat cross-legged on Jenny's bed with the blanket still on his lap, staring down into a steaming teacup. Jenny had warmed up the tea three times already, but he'd yet to even take a sip; if anything, he was only using the cup to warm up his cold paws.

He remembered so little from last night. He could recall sitting in the den with Tugger and the unusually rowdy kittens, trying to ignore a headache and cramping pains in his abdomen. And he definitely recalled the sticky feeling of blood on his fur, the cramps worsening, being bundled up and carried, but everything after that was a haze.

At least, until he'd woken up in Jenny's bed, sore and shaky and knowing that something was terribly wrong. Jenny had been right there at his side, offering a cup of tea and helping him sit up and getting ready to tell him the news, but Mistoffelees already knew. As soon as he woke up, he knew, could feel somehow, that the kittens were gone from his body.

Jenny had fussed and prodded and insisted she was there for him if he needed to talk about this, but Mistoffelees had only requested some peace and quiet. It was done, after all. He'd lost the kittens, and that was the end of that. What was there to talk about?

"Misto? Dear one?" Jenny poked her head into the room, a tentative look on her face. "Do you feel up to having some company? Tugger's here."

Mistoffelees only nodded. If he'd had more energy, he would have felt apprehensive about dealing with Tugger's reaction, but he wanted it all to be over as quickly as possible.

He glanced up as Tugger carefully padded into the room, looking sad and tired and dishevelled. "… Hi."

"Hi Tug," Mistoffelees said hoarsely. He took a quick sip of the tea to help with his dry throat, though he didn't even register the taste of it. "… I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Why sorry?"

"I… I'm not pregnant anymore."

"It's all right, I know," Tugger said, gently sitting down on the blankets, as though Mistoffelees would shatter if he moved too quickly. "Jenny already explained it to me."

"She did? Oh. Good." He picked at the teacup for a bit before glancing behind Tugger. "Are the kits with you?"

"No, no," Tugger quickly said. "I found someone to watch them, don't worry."

"Not Bomba again, I hope?"

"No, don't worry," Tugger said, forcing a half-smile. "We can take all the time we need here. How are you feeling?"

The small tom shrugged. "Fine, I suppose. The cramps are gone. I'm a little bit sore but Jenny said that'll go away in a day or so."

"… and that's it?"

"Well, I'm a bit tired too." Despite that, Tugger kept staring at him with glassy eyes. "What do you want from me, Tug?"

"I know this is hard," Tugger said gently. "I know you're upset because you lost the kittens, but-"

"It's over and done," Mistoffelees quickly said. "I'm not upset. I'd really rather not talk about it."

Tugger looked to be at a loss for words, opening and closing his mouth a few times while he picked at his mane with shallow claws. "…. All right," he weakly said. "We can talk about it later."

Shifting the tea cup around in his paws, Mistoffelees began kicking the blanket off his legs. "We should go home. The kits need to be taken care of."

Tugger rose to his feet, nervously hovering by. "They're fine for now. You can stay here and get as much rest as you need."

"I don't need any rest. I feel fine."

"Maybe you should still—um, Jenny?"

Mistoffelees sighed as Jenny immediately popped her head into the room at Tugger's summoning and made a beeline for the bed. "Thank you, Jenny," he said. "But I'm ready to go home now."

"Should he?" Tugger asked in a loud whisper.

Jenny pursed her lips for a second, then gently pushed Mistoffelees back on the bed. "You'll be free to go if you let me have one last look at you."

Mistoffelees had too little will to resist her; and besides, if it meant he could leave without argument, he could stand a few more minutes of unwanted attention. He hissed softly as Jenny pressed into his abdomen; it wasn't painful, but it still felt a bit tender, mostly because of the stark reminder of what should have still been growing in there.

"Are you feeling any more pain?" Jenny asked.

"No."

"Any nausea? Dizziness?"

"I'm fine."

"Any more bleeding since last night?"

"Jenny! No."

Unperturbed, she continued her examination until she nodded to herself, albeit a bit reluctantly. "I suppose you're good to go home if you feel up to it. But if you start feeling any pain, or if you start running a fever… call for me, all right?"

Mistoffelees nodded stiffly and got to his feet. He wavered for a moment at a brief stint of weakness, but it passed within seconds.

"And if you have any questions or need to talk about what happened-"

"Thank you, Jenny," Mistoffelees quickly said, in a tone that implied he wasn't going to be in the mood to talk about anything any time soon.

He was stiff and silent as they exited the den, though he still accepted Tugger's arm around his waist, ostensibly to support him on the way back home. He felt fine, but Tugger seemed to need the contact, so he allowed it without comment.

Mistoffelees could feel eyes on them both as they walked through the junkyard. The… incident had happened last night and it wouldn't surprise him that everyone (or almost everyone) knew what had happened by now. He could sense the slowing of activity as they passed by, and even heard Cassandra's voice quietly whisper his name as they walked, but Mistoffelees kept his eyes riveted forward, focusing on getting to his den without stopping to talk. He didn't want sympathy or attention; he just wanted to go home and have everything return to normal.

"How are the kits?" Mistoffelees asked. "Did they behave for you this morning?"

Tugger stiffened a bit against him, but quickly gave in to the temptation to speak about something plain and normal. "They were fine," he said, though his voice did waver a bit. "Got them all to eat breakfast before I left. Cappella was trying to teach Mandra some magic."

"Poor Mandra," Mistoffelees said, forcing himself to chuckle a bit. "What was Cappella showing her this time?"

"Teleporting a spoon. Cappella doesn't seem to understand why it isn't easy for the other kits to do magic."

"She is a natural," Mistoffelees said. He sombrely added, "Are they all right? Did they see anything from last night?"

"A bit," Tugger admitted. "They know something's wrong, but they just think you're sick."

"Good. Let's leave it like that. Who did you ask to watch them, by the way?"

Mistoffelees got his answer as Tugger gently helped him inside their den. It was quiet inside—surprisingly quiet, considering the kittens were awake. Plato was standing and laughing with Augusta and Aloysius dangling from his arms, while the other kits milled around, waiting for their turn. And sitting on a thick pillow, gently rocking Tourmaline, was Victoria.

Both cats looked towards the door at their arrival, tender concern immediately evident on their faces, making Mistoffelees bristle.

"Daddy!" Cyrano happily cried.

"Are you still sick?" Mandragora asked.

"You're not going away again, are you?" Tourmaline asked, working her way out of Victoria's arms.

"Easy, kits, don't crowd your daddy just yet," Tugger said, gently motioning for the kits to stay put instead of leaping for Mistoffelees, as they clearly wanted.

"Oh, Misto!" Victoria whispered. She gave him a warm, encouraging smile as she helped Tourmaline to her feet. "How are you feeling?"

Mistoffelees felt his back twitching at the sight of her, resisting as Tugger tried to get him to move and sit down. He stared—no, glared- at Victoria.

Lovely, glowing, happy, still-pregnant Victoria.

"Excuse me," Mistoffelees said faintly. "I don't feel good. I need to… go."

He was out of Tugger's arms too quickly for his mate to react, running out of the den as quickly as he possibly could move.

***

Tugger had expected to have to chase his mate through half the junkyard, but Mistoffelees hadn't even bothered to run far or use his magic to disappear. Tugger found him sitting on a nearby wooden crate, curled into a tight little ball.

"Misto?"

"I felt nauseous. I needed some air."

With a heavy sigh, Tugger settled himself on the crate next to his mate. "I know this is really difficult…"

"Don't," Mistoffelees huffed. "I'm fine."

"You're so fine that you needed to storm out on Victoria and Plato?"

"I… I didn't…"

"Everyone cares about you, you know," Tugger gently said. "They're going to want to see if you're all right. But if it bothers you to have them ask how you're feeling-"

"It's not that," Mistoffelees miserably whispered.

"What, then? Come on, love, talk to me."

"It's… it's Victoria."

"What about her?"

"We got pregnant on the same night," Mistoffelees murmured. "Our litters were going to grow at the same time, and we probably would have given birth on the same day. But… but now she's still pregnant and happy and perfect, and I… I…"

"I know, Misto," Tugger said. He put an arm out to wrap it around Mistoffelees' shoulders, encouraging him to sink into his embrace, but the small tom was stiff and trembling.

"And I…" Mistoffelees gulped, holding shaking hands to his mouth. "And I lost our kittens."

"Misto…" Tugger sighed. It was difficult to see Mistoffelees finally showing emotion over the miscarriage; he himself had barely come to terms with it, but he had to keep his head about him now, as much as he wanted to break down again.

He tried to pull Mistoffelees into a hug again. This time, his mate didn't resist, limply landing against Tugger's chest.

"It'll get better," Tugger said. "I know it's hard, it's hurting me too."

Mistoffelees scoffed against his chest. "You didn't feel them d-dying inside you. It hurt. It hurt more than giving birth did…"

"I…I believe you, love."

"It just seems so…" He trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished as he absently rubbed his abdomen. From where he sat, Tugger couldn't tell if the tiny swell was still there. "When I was pregnant the first time, so many things happened… I didn't know they existed until weeks later, and I was so sick, and then everything with Macavity, and the birth was so difficult… but the kittens survived just fine. Even when the hench-cats were pushing me around, and I fought Macavity with magic, they were still fine."

"They were, you're right," Tugger helpfully said. "You survived it all."

"But now I didn't do anything," Mistoffelees whimpered. "They were only inside me for three weeks, and I didn't do anything to upset them or hurt them, did I? I didn't fall, I barely used magic, we never even mated!"

"Jenny said these things just happen. You didn't do anything to cause it."

"Maybe I ate something bad?" Mistoffelees continued. "I haven't even hacked up yet—maybe I was supposed to, to get something poison out of my body! Or… or maybe I rolled over in my sleep and crushed them."

"Misto!"

"Or my magic did it. My magic killed our kittens. It's the only reason we're able to make kittens in the first place, so maybe that's what killed them!"

"Misto, stop it!" Tugger cried. He took his mate by the shoulders, holding him firmly, and echoed what Jenny had told him the night before. "You'll make yourself sick trying to find reasons for this. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But…" Mistoffelees' face crumpled as tears began to roll down his cheeks. The veneer was finally cracking. "I… I just… I want my kittens back, Tug!"

He collapsed into Tugger's chest, crying openly. And just in time, because Tugger wasn't sure if he would be able to keep his own tears at bay.

I want our kittens back too, he wanted to say. But he stayed silent, gently stroking Mistoffelees' shuddering back and thickly swallowing back his own tears.

After several minutes of this, coupled with gentle rocking and what Tugger hoped were soothing murmurs, Mistoffelees' shaking tapered off. He miserably cuddled against Tugger's mane and whispered something that wasn't clear to Tugger, at least until he repeated himself.

"It's not fair," Mistoffelees said. "It's not fair that Victoria still gets to be pregnant and I don't. Why me and not her? Why does she get to have perfect little kittens and I don't? Once hers are born—at the same time ours should have been- every time I'll look at them, I'll think of the kittens we never had."

"Misto," Tugger gently said. "We have seven kittens already. It's… it's not like you never got to have kittens at all."

That was, judging by Mistoffelees' aghast look, the wrong thing to say. "Tugger! How could you say that? I love our kits, and I loved this new litter too! It doesn't make them less important just because we already have kits!"

Tugger stammered for a few moments before wisely clamping his mouth shut. This entire situation was difficult enough to handle for him alone, he couldn't imagine what Mistoffelees was feeling…

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I'm not sure what to say to fix everything."

"It's all right," Mistoffelees murmured. With a small sniffle, he buried his head into Tugger's mane again. "This is a start."

"Do you want to go home? … I'll ask Victoria to leave first. Tell her we'd like to be alone."

Mistoffelees nodded sheepishly against his chest. "Thank you."

Asking Victoria to leave first (kindly, of course) meant leaving Mistoffelees behind for a few moments. As difficult as it was, Tugger gently pulled himself free and left the small tom to curl up alone on the wooden crate again.

Everlasting, he sighed sadly to himself, wondering how he was going to gently shoo Victoria out of the den. Would Mistoffelees eventually get over this? Would Tugger? Of course he loved their seven kits, but… he'd been so, so very excited about this new litter. And now he would never get to see them.

***

As was the junkyard custom, gossip spread widely and quickly, and within another day everyone knew about the miscarriage. In a sense, it was a good thing; Tugger had feared that some unknowing Jellicle would innocently ask how the pregnancy was progressing and upset Mistoffelees, and the small tom already seemed to be having a difficult time. At least this way, everyone knew to give them their space.

Mistoffelees had spent most of the time since coming home curled up on his blankets, sleeping on and off, or lying quietly. He ate, but sparsely, and only got up to relieve himself. While Tugger sympathized, the extended depression was beginning to wear on him too, especially since Mistoffelees' state left him solely in charge of caring for their kits. Granted, the kits had been behaving very well lately, obviously confused and worried about their father, and other Jellicles had stepped in to help, though it was getting to be a challenge to keep the rather confused Victoria away.

Two weeks into this, Tugger had begged Jenny to come by, ostensibly to help watch the kittens for a few hours, but also to pop in and see if there was anything she could do to help Mistoffelees.

Though she did as Tugger requested, it was clearly with reluctance, and when she appeared again after sitting with Mistoffelees for a bit, she could only shrug at Tugger's enquiring look. He was holding Tourmaline in his arms; the little queen had been especially shaken by her father's mysterious illness, and whenever Mistoffelees declined a visit from the worried kittens, she would sob quietly and demand to be held.

"What can I say, dear?" Jenny gently sighed. "Physically, he's been healed up for a while. But he needs to grieve. This struck him very hard."

"I know."

"You need to grieve too."

"I am, Jenny. But I don't really have time to. Not while Misto is—Josephine! Get down from there before you break your neck!"

Ever the patient mother, Jenny took Tourmaline from Tugger's arms while he rushed over to order Josephine down from the curtain, where she hung from her claws. She started and began to cry at the shock of being so harshly reprimanded by her father.

"Tugger, my poor dear," Jenny said over the wailing. "You're obviously at the limits of your patience. Do you have anyone else coming by today? You need some help."

"Munk and Dem are coming by later," Tugger said, glaring at Augusta, who'd come running to gleefully see why her sister was crying.

"Hopefully the company will do Misto some good," Jenny said. She hoisted Tourmaline on her hip and got the attention of the other kittens hanging about. "Why don't I take these ones into their room so we can all play a game?"

"Don't try getting them to play the Quiet game," Tugger sighed as Jenny retreated with the kits. "They're all terrible at it."

Munkustrap and Demeter's visit was a welcome change, at the very least. Tugger had hoped that Mistoffelees would be willing to get up to greet their visitors, but he made no move to exit their room. Undaunted, Demeter quietly slipped into the room to sit with the small tom for a bit.

"Uncle Munk! Uncle Munk! Watch!"

At least it had been easy to get the kittens to behave. The promise of being able to show off for their much-loved uncle was reward enough for good behavior.

Munkustrap smiled indulgently and watched as Augusta twisted herself into some kind of headstand, tucking in her legs and awkwardly rolling sideways. It was difficult to tell if that was the intended maneuver, but she smiled so proudly that it probably was.

"That was wonderful, Augusta," Munkustrap said. "You're getting awfully strong."

Augusta quickly smoothed over her fur, beaming. "Really? Strong enough to be a Jellicle protector?"

"No, I'm going to be the Jellicle protector!" Cyrano said, nudging his sister out of the way so he could perform next. "Watch this, uncle Munk!"

While the kittens performed, Tugger sighed and nervously glanced towards their bedroom. He was grateful that his brother knew him well enough to know that it wouldn't do any good to ask about Mistoffelees—keeping the visit and the conversation down to the kittens and superficial matters was exactly what Tugger needed as a distraction.

But still, even as they watched Mandragora try to complete a cartwheel to impress her uncle, Tugger's thoughts couldn't help but stray to his mate.

***

"… and apparently, they ended up in a bit of a fight," Demeter said.

"Over Electra?" Mistoffelees said softly. "I can't imagine how she must have felt."

Though he spoke with forced enthusiasm, Mistoffelees still enjoyed the distraction. He was still lying on the blankets, wrapped up in the green fleece, but the fact that Demeter had come in to catch him up on junkyard gossip instead of cooing and asking how he felt was a relief.

"I didn't even know Admetus liked her," Demeter said. She'd settled herself down on the blankets next to him. "I suppose he and Tumblebrutus will need to work this out before the next Ball. I wonder if Electra even likes either of them."

Mistoffelees shook his head as best as he could from beneath his blanket. "She doesn't. Not as mates, anyway, trust me."

"How do you know?"

"If Electra takes a mate, it won't be a tom."

"Oh," Demeter said with a grin. "That explains a lot. By the way, Cassandra was wondering if she could take some of the kits tomorrow? Verismo and Serapis are starting to miss their friends."

"Sure," Mistoffelees sighed. And just like that, the thoughts he'd been trying to ignore came crashing back. They needed help to watch their kits because he wasn't feeling well because he miscarried their kittens. "If you see Cassandra, you can tell her that's fine."

Demeter nodded thoughtfully. "I don't suppose you feel up to going out and telling her yourself?"

"No," Mistoffelees murmured, drawing the fleece tighter around himself. Under the blanket was safe. He didn't really want to leave it anytime soon. "Not yet. I… I don't think I'm ready."

"You can't stay in bed forever, Misto."

"Not forever. Just… just until…"

"Until when?" Demeter gently asked. "Until it doesn't hurt anymore? Until you've forgotten about them?"

"Don't say things like that."

"Then tell me, until when? There's a tribe full of Jellicles out there who are worried about you. They care about you. And I don't need to tell you Tugger's worrying himself sick."

"I know," Mistoffelees whispered.

With a small sigh, he unraveled some of the blanket from around his body—it was starting to get a little warm in the den—and rolled over onto his back. His hands found themselves resting against his abdomen in an unconscious gesture. He rubbed at the fur a bit, at the skin that had always stayed just a little bit soft and loose after his first litter, biting his lip at the thought of what he should have been feeling beneath the fur. If he hadn't lost the kittens, he'd definitely be showing the pregnancy by now. Maybe he even would have felt them move by now. Bitterly, he thought of Victoria, who was surely showing by now, happily glowing around the junkyard.

His breath hitched audibly as he tried not to cry at the thought. Demeter did not miss the sound.

"Come on, Misto," she said. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

Mistoffelees drew in a few breaths, until he was sure his voice wasn't about to waver too badly. He rolled on the blankets again to face Demeter.

"I can't help but think of what this litter would have been like," he finally said. "I wonder how many kittens there would have been, how many queens and toms… isn't that silly? They weren't even big enough for me to feel them, and I miss them."

"I don't think that's silly at all," Demeter said. "In fact, I would think that's perfectly natural."

Mistoffelees shrugged as best as he could while still curled on the blankets. "That's not all, though. I… I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong. Jenny said we can start trying for another litter as soon as I feel up for it, but… I can't. I can't try again until I know what went wrong."

Demeter gave him a sad look. "Why do you keep thinking it's your fault?"

"You don't understand."

"You'd be surprised."

They sat in silence for a few moments, something Mistoffelees both wanted and didn't want. He didn't feel lately as though he had a lot of energy for conversations, but talking kept him from focusing his thoughts inwards.

When Demeter spoke again, it was so quiet that Mistoffelees almost missed it. "I would like to tell you something."

He looked up at Demeter with tired eyes.

"We can't. At all."

Mistoffelees frowned. "Can't what?"

"Have kittens. Munk and I… we've tried in the past, but we can't. I've never gotten pregnant."

"Oh, Dem," Mistoffelees breathed, hoisting himself up on the blankets. "A-are you sure? Sometimes it can take a while…"

She gave him a small, sad smile. "Munk and I have been trying since we first became mates. We know we can't. I've never told anyone. Only Jenny knows."

Mistoffelees stared down at the blankets for a good long while. "I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be," Demeter said. "I've made my peace with it. I'm not telling you this for sympathy, Misto. Because when we learned that we couldn't have kittens, I was angry. I thought it was my fault, or maybe Munk's, that there was something wrong with one of us."

"But… but this is different."

"Is it?"

"I can make the kittens," Mistoffelees sighed. His hands strayed to his abdomen for a moment before he caught himself. "I just… can't keep them alive."

"Oh, I think it's more the same than you realize," Demeter said, leaning in to nuzzle his shoulder. "I was so sad when I realized. I just needed to learn that sometimes, these things happen, and it isn't anyone's fault. And yes it hurts, but you get better. I can't have kittens, but I have Munk, and a family, and cats I love."

Mistoffelees nodded somberly, casting Demeter a shy glance. He would never have imagined that she'd gone through such a thing, and while it wasn't the same situation, he could certainly imagine the pain it must have caused her. Not so long ago, he'd been convinced it'd be impossible to ever feel anything but misery again, but to look at Demeter, it was obvious that it was possible to get past such a thing.

Demeter shifted a bit closer to him on the blankets and tenderly said, "Misto, you have a mate that's worried sick about you, and seven kittens who miss their father. Maybe you could go sit with them for a little bit?"

Well, Mistoffelees mused… he was starting to awfully miss the kits, and he hadn't properly been around Tugger except for when his mate came to bed. He stretched and started to get his legs under him.

"Maybe it wouldn't hurt to get up and stretch for a bit."

Demeter smiled and helped him rise, slowly following him out of the ever-dark bedroom and into the late-evening sun bathing the rest of the den.

Tugger and Munkustrap quickly but cautiously looked up at their arrival. The kittens, however, were not nearly so cautious.

"Daddy, daddy!" Augusta bellowed. "Are you still con-ta-gious like daddy said?"

A solid lump crashed into his legs; Mistoffelees looked down to see Cappella joyfully latching onto his legs, only to be elbowed aside by Cyrano.

"Hi kits," Mistoffelees said, smiling as he lowered himself onto a cushion so he could embrace the kittens. Mandragora immediately leapt to the front of the group to crawl into his lap, while Cyrano tucked himself beneath Mistoffelees' left arm.

"What were you sick with?" Aloysius asked, sitting as close to his father as he could. Even Josephine came to cuddle up, while Tourmaline hung behind, clutching her blanket and staring glassy-eyed at her father.

"It's all right, kits," Mistoffelees said, beckoning to the worried Tourmaline. Everlasting, it felt good to hold his kittens again. Why had he hidden himself away for so long? "I feel much better now."

"I missed you, daddy," Tourmaline murmured as she came to settle by his hip.

"I missed you too."

He was so engrossed with the kits that he barely even noticed Demeter, who waved him a quick farewell and quickly ushered Munkustrap out of the den. He would have to remember to properly thank her later.

Tugger pulled over a cushion of his own to sit on, guardedly staring at his mate while he quietly cuddled with their kittens.

"How do you feel?" Tugger gently asked. "Are you all right now?"

"Not yet," Mistoffelees said, rubbing Cyrano's head and smiling at the quick purr. "But I will be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another warm thank-you to everyone following this angst-fest! <3 I will start posting part 4 of this saga in a few days.


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